Feminist Reaction

The Hardest Part

2009-12-13T22:36:00.001-08:00

The hardest part wasn't the sexual assault, the secrecy, the coercion or even the bruises. It wasn't the broken trust, the violation, the abuse or the manipulation. It was reading about Jane in the local news and knowing that I could have stopped him from hurting her. It was knowing that Jane, a complete innocent in this situation, was raped on the street by an individual I knew should not be on the streets. It was looking down at my arms and knowing exactly what her arms looked like with bruises and finger marks. It was putting my hand on my neck and knowing exactly what it felt like to choke, suffocate, stop breathing. It was knowing exactly what look he had in his eyes as he forced her life off course.

The pain doesn't stop, but my only consolation to myself is that I must make every effort to prevent that pain from befalling anyone...especially girls like Jane who should never have crossed paths with him. It was my inaction that led to her pain, and that is a burden I have to live with forever. Yet it is more so a burden because there is more than Jane. There is also Mary, Elizabeth, Jenny, Ashley, Nicole, and who knows how many girls whose lives were thrown off-course by him because I didn't take action.

It hurts to tell. But it hurts more not to tell.

"The Hardest Choice"

2009-06-08T17:36:00.000-07:00

And second, because this was a choice. When you have children, literally from the moment you realize you're pregnant till the day they go off to college, your days are filled with choices — about birth plans, breastfeeding, diaper types, potty training, preschool curricula, sports and activities, clothing and Internet use, dating and driving, and on and on. But when your pregnancy takes the kind of turn mine did, all your mothering boils down to one choice — and I chose to spare my child the suffering of a brief, painful life. Of all the million and one things I wished I could be doing for this child, the only act of love circumstances allowed me to perform was this one. The women who went to Dr. Tiller made the same choice, under even more excruciating circumstances. Now that he's gone, who will help women like them?

Read her full perspective HERE.

Isaacson-Jones’ poem

2009-06-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

An Open Letter to 21 Million Women-

Where are you?
For over 16 years we have provided
you with choices
Painful choices
I remember
I sometimes cried with you.
Choices, nevertheless, when you were desperate.

Remember how we protected your privacy
and treated you with dignity and respect
when you
were famous
had been brought to us in shackles
with an armed guard, or
were terrified
that you would run into
one of your students?
I remember each of you.

Our clinic was firebombed.
Do you recall?
Exhausted and terrified we had
been up all night.
We rerouted you to another clinic
because you wanted an abortion that day.
Where are you?

Priding ourselves on providing abortions for
those who cannot pay, we have spent millions
of dollars that we never really
had caring for you. We wanted
to give a choice.
I also gave you cab fare and
money for dinner from my own pocket.
Have you forgotten?

I remember you cried and asked me how
you could carry this pregnancy to term when
you were abusing the children you had,
were having an affair,
tested positive for AIDS,
could not handle another,
were raped by your mother’s boyfriend,
pregnant by your father and
shocked and torn apart when
your very much wanted and loved
fetus was found to be
severely deformed.

Your mother picketed our clinic
regularly. We brought you in after dark.
Have you mustered the courage
to tell her that you are pro-choice?
You are.
Aren’t you?

I recall shielding your shaking body, guiding you
and you husband through the picket lines.
They screamed adoption, not abortion!
You wondered how you could explain your
choice to your young children.

You broke our hearts.
You had just celebrated your twelfth birthday
when you came to us. You clutched
your teddy bear, sucked your thumb
and cried out for your mom who asked
you why you had gotten yourself pregnant.
You replied that you just wanted to be grown.
You’re twenty today.
Where are you?

I pretend I don’t know you in the market,
at social gatherings and on the street.
I told you I would.
After your procedure you told me that you would
fight for reproductive choices (parenthood,
adoption, and abortion) for your mother, daughters,
and grandchildren. You will . . . won’t you?

I have no regrets. I care about
each and every one of you and
treasure all that you’ve taught me.
But I’m angry. I can’t do this alone.
I’m not asking you to speak about your abortion, but
You need to speak out and you need to speak
out now. Where are you?

In memory of Dr. Tiller, don't we owe him at the very least to stand up for women's right to choose and to speak out?

Summer Reading List - Books that Changed My Life

2009-05-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

Summer is here! Since I haven't read for pleasure in a while, here is a list of books that have changed my life and books that *will* change my life (they are on my to-read list). I'm a huge non-fiction junkie...but if anyone knows of good fictional feminist-friendly reading, please let me know! So far though, I have found it difficult to read anything fictional without having problems with the content, character development, etc.

All-Time Favorite

Listen Up: Voices from the Next Feminist

This book came at an important point in my life right as I was slowly realizing that the events in my life had helped me discover my inner feminist. There were stories that made me smile, and stories that made me writhe with anger. And at the same time, there were stories that made me cry when I realized that the pain I went through was not singular to me, but something that united me with women who I had never met and would never meet.

That knowledge and awareness helped understand all the different facets of feminism and how I fit into the big picture. It helped me understand that while each woman's voice and experiences were unique, there was still a common underlying thread that tied us all together -- being the product our of environment and also the victim of culture.

This collection of stories helped change my life by being my best friend and also my mentor. When I read the stories now, I don't always cry. But I feel stronger when I realize that I am not alone, and that it is finally time that I am ready to do something to change the world we live in.

All-Time Favorite
Cunt: A Declaration of Independence

Several of the stories in Listen Up! (above) made a huge impact on me, including Inga Muscio's story about her abortions and finally her natural termination of pregnancy. In Inga Muscio's story, her voice was strong, and her experience was not commonly heard of. A year later, I stumbled across "Cunt" and decided to read it, liking it for its rebellious name and virtually giving culture and its ideals the middle finger. It wasn't until I read her story a second time in the book that I finally made the connection that the author was the same individual.

Inga is eloquent-- she writes powerfully, and her words are eloquent and touching. She translates raw human emotions into words, and she made me cry when she wrote about how her mother's rape consequently affected not only her mother, but how she raised her daughters, and in the future, how her daughters would raise their daughters. It makes us realize that all of our actions, no matter what action, has the potential to not only effect the individual but also generations of individuals to follow. To have that kind of influence over other people's lives is powerful, but to use that power responsibly and beneficially is where some people go wrong.

I highly recommend this book not only because it verbalized what I had been feeling for months, but because it provides a deeper look at many things we take for granted. Ingra provides insight into how our culture works and how we think/behave as products of culture. She explains why women do not unite together, and insists that we take control of the English language because cunt is only a derogative term if we let it be. Therefore, others can only control us if we allow them to. Otherwise, we are our own masters, and that is all there is to it.

First Item on my Summer Reading List

This Common Secret: My Journey as an Abortion Doctor

Haven't read the book, but cannot wait to receive it in the mail. The book details the life of an abortion doctor who provides honesty, experience and even criticism about abortion clinics.

The Washington Post wrote:

In the 35 years since Roe v. Wade, human stories and hard science have been the
dueling weapons of the abortion wars. Abortion opponents have presented
emotional accounts of the destruction of fetuses -- and, more recently, tales of
distress from women who regret their abortions. Supporters of legal abortion
have often countered with data on the decline in backstreet abortions and
improvements in women's health and welfare.
So it's a welcome change to see
two new books in which the pro-life and pro-choice camps switch their usual
tactics. In This Common Secret, Susan Wicklund tells riveting stories about
patients she has treated during nearly 20 years as an abortion provider.
Meanwhile, in Embryo, Robert P. George and Christopher Tollefsen argue on
scientific and philosophical grounds that from its first moment as a one-cell
organism, the embryo is a living human being and, thus, entitled to legal
protection. If Wicklund's book is the more effective, perhaps that's because
she's not claiming to prove one objective truth, just conveying her own
experience -- and because she has good, multifaceted stories to tell.
As a
26-year-old single mother working part-time and getting by on welfare and food
stamps, Susan Wicklund became one of the first members of her large Wisconsin
family to go to college. Before she decided to become a doctor and specialize in
women's health, she had her own abortion to surmount -- a 1976 procedure that
she did not understand, and that she sobbed and fought her way through until a
doctor told her to shut up and drugged her. This horror story could come
straight out of an anti-abortion pamphlet were it not for the determination
Wicklund drew from it as she began medical school: "I could make sure my
patients were treated differently than I had been -- with respect and decency.
The memory of my own abortion troubled me, but it also hardened my resolve."

Summer time = summer reading.

Comment if you have any great books that everyone should read!

My Little Red Book

2009-03-05T08:20:00.000-08:00

It's about time we taught our little girls to love their bodies. Rather than constantly label menstruation as the curse and therefore implying that all women are cursed, why can't we view periods from a different perspective?

Ultimately, MY LITTLE RED BOOK is more than a collection of stories. It is a call for a change in attitude, for a new way of seeing periods. In a time when the taboo around menstruation seems to be one of the few left standing, it makes a difficult subject easier to talk about, and helps girls feel proud instead of embarrassed or ashamed.

Menstruating is nothing to be ashamed about. Nor is being a woman anything to be ashamed about. Get reading!

Why not?

2009-01-14T13:18:00.000-08:00

So lately there has been a lot of talk about this girl selling her virginity online. Personally, I think it's a great idea, if that's something you're comfortable doing. There are tons of firsts in our lifetime, including first kiss, first time you drove, first time you drank, and virginity is simply overrated. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, but conversely, there is also absolutely nothing wrong with not being a virgin.

Before we start categorizing and assigning moral value to this news story, take a moment to think about the social commentary this girl is making by auctioning her virginity. After all, it IS her body and it IS her choice. As a culture, we treat sex as a commodity anyways, so why not just do away with the pretenses and admit it?

Crossing the Line

2009-01-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

Boys can do it too!

Sarah Haskins meets Edward Cullen

2008-12-10T19:48:00.001-08:00

Happy PMS week!

2008-12-08T22:49:00.000-08:00

Our culture makes the menstrual cycle seem like the cycle from hell. Tampax makes it seem like our periods are a curse. If a girl is unhappy, she is clearly PMSing because she couldn't possibly have a legitimate reason to be discontent. I say it's time we stopped letting people tell us how to view our periods and to stop thinking our periods are something to hide and be ashamed of. What's with all the negativity??

Granted, cramps are no fun, but I. Love. Being. On. My. Period. It makes me feel like a woman and I love feeling in tune with my body. Yes, it's annoying to have to think twice about what I am wearing in case I have an accident. Yes, there is discomfort, but I just remind myself that my body is ridding itself of unnecessary cells. And I am lucky because my cramps aren't excruciating-- I can only feel them on the first day, if at all. After that, it's just my ruby red, me and my vaginal muscles. But I love being a woman, and thus I love my periods. I love being able to feel body parts at work that I don't normally feel. I love being reminded that I am part of bigger picture-- that my cycle is like the lunar cycle...part of nature's cycle.

So let's stop with the negative portrayals of the female body. Don't let guys brush off your unhappiness as "PMSing." Don't be ashamed of your body's cycle. Don't listen to the sock puppets on TV. And just love yourself.

Happy PMS week!

No Bull, Please

2008-12-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

This video wasn't working yesterday, but it is now!

Campbell Brown discusses three major questions that face working women today. Double standard much?

Want a divorce? Make sure you bring your dad along.

2008-11-23T12:53:00.001-08:00

From the New York Times:

LONDON — The woman in black wanted an Islamic divorce. She told the religious judge that her husband hit her, cursed her and wanted her dead.

But her husband was opposed, and the Islamic scholar adjudicating the case seemed determined to keep the couple together. So, sensing defeat, she brought our her secret weapon: her father.
In walked a bearded man in long robes who described his son-in-law as a hot-tempered man who had duped his daughter, evaded the police and humiliated his family.
The judge promptly reversed himself and recommended divorce. [emphasis mine]

You'd think people in modern day would try to avoid being so blatantly sexist, but it apparently not in places like London. Way to say, "you're a woman so your opinion doesn't mean shit, but since your dad agrees with you, you can have a divorce."

When will women's voices be valued as much as men's voices around the world?

Yay Sarah!

2008-11-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

I love her:

What we can learn from Capucine

2008-11-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this is a common experience for guys, but girls: how many times have you had cake or dessert and then felt guilty afterwards? We all have LOTS to learn from Capucine, an adorable little French girl who knows what it means to ENJOY dessert.

Yuuuummm ! from Capucha on Vimeo.

Women beat themselves up constantly because we are so afraid to gain weight and thus become "unattractive." But wouldn't life be so much better if we could just enjoy the moments rather than worry about what sort of body men will find attractive?

Go eat some ice cream and don't think twice about it!!

mmmmmmm!

No means yes.... ?!?

2008-11-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

Here is an example of the media perpetuating the idea that rape doesn't exist, and that when a woman says no, she really means yes. The following is a Youtube clip of a Southeastern Asian drama that 372,691 people have viewed:

And then some of the responses to this video:

Based on how people have responded to this video, clearly there are different cultural perceptions of rape and perhaps even confusion to what rape is. Rape is rape, just as no means no. If it started off as rape, then it doesn't mean the woman has consented simply because she has stopped fighting. However, despite that, some people still love this movie. Meanwhile, other people don't think this is rape, while others think it's romantic. I find difficulty finding anything romantic about this scene... and yet, little girls and boys, men and women are growing up in Southeastern Asia and learning from this drama that rape is acceptable and that romance involves violence and having sex is alright even if a woman is struggling, resisting and fighting back.

Is there something wrong with this message?

Mixed messages

2008-11-15T21:08:00.001-08:00

AlekNovi kindly responded to my post about virginity and I wanted to re-post it here for anyone who might be reading this blog:

In fact, I believe that if women were to be allowed to take sex into their own hands, that would decrease:

-rape
-abuse
-sexual harrasment

In fact, I believe the above 3 are SYMPTOMS of a society that teaches women to be "passive prey".

We actually have a society in which women are told to say "no" when they mean yes.

Guess how that encourages rape and sexual harrasment? Its very easy to rationalize out that behaviour when men actually see this in most of the women they meet "they say no, when they mean yes".

Guess how this influences sexual harrassment? Women are taught to pretend and put on a disinterested face even when they are interested.

How are we training men now? We are training them a look of disgust doesn't actually mean that... Why? Because there is no correlation in their mind.

Sometimes a woman acts friendly, but is not interested at all.

Sometimes a woman acts mean, but hooks up with you.

Sometimes you compliment a woman on her body and she is flattered and says she respects sexual directness and takes your number, and becomes your best friend.

Sometimes you compliment a woman on her body and she is offended and turns you into the police.

Do you see the problem here?

"Loss" of virginity and more

2008-11-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

This week, two of PostSecret's postcards are about virginity, which reminded me how much I don't like how our society talks about virginity.

I don't think it's right that the majority of the time, we are condemning girls for being sexual. I have never understood why it's so "wrong" for girls to have sex, but it is undeniable that our culture constantly plants the seed in our minds that "good" girls practice chastity. As my high school teacher pointed out, our culture has a "slut vs. virgin" complex. A girl can either be "good" and be a virgin, or she can have sex and somehow transform into a "slut." There is no middle ground...there is no gray area.

This dichotomy can be seen in other areas, like election 2008. For example, Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin represent another black and white categorization. You either fit into our culture's standards for women (as represented by Sarah Palin who, for many women, proves that mother can indeed raise children AND have a successful career, but at the same time still have "great hair" and "cute shoes") or you can be a nut-cracking, pantsuit-wearing bi*ch who is too assertive and not "feminine enough."

I also think that the way we choose our words has a huge part to play in the grand scheme of things. As Jessica Valenti will discuss in her next book, The Purity Myth, this association of "purity" with "virginity" DOES and WILL continue to hurt girls.

When we say "Jane lost her virginity," we imply that she lost something that was of great value, like her grandmother's wedding ring or her left lung. By using the word, "loss," we imply that by no longer being a virgin, she is somehow less than perfect and is a flawed human being. By using the word, "loss," we imply that she should miss being a virgin (actually, I don't have a problem with missing being a virgin...we all miss being a kid and not having to worry about paying bills... ignorance is bliss and we'd love to be free of all our adult problems). However, this mindset is harmful and unhealthy.

Does a hymen add value to a person's character? Some girls don't have premarital sex but have already broken their hymen from other activities-- what is their worth? And if a girl "loses" her virginity after marriage, why is she still honorable, but that other teenage girl who got pregnant before marriage should be ashamed?

[And what is with the pink background for this picture? Why must girls wear the figurative/literal chastity belt and be the ones to say "no" to sex? It takes two to tango-- why do girls have to draw the line while boys push the boundary?]

Many parents tell their girls to "save" themselves for their husbands. But let's put our hands on our hearts and ask, how many boys are "saving themselves" for their wives? In our over-sexualized culture, there is definitely an unfair double standard that gives girls the short end of the stick. Girls are the ones who have to beat themselves up when people call them names like "slut" and "whore"-- but guys, who have just as much or even more sex, will be congratulated on being a "stud." Why don't we tell guys to "save" themselves? Why don't we tell them to guard their honor? Why don't we tell them to protect their "purity"?

I think we could do a lot of good if we as a society changed our approach to virginity. If you want to teach your kids abstinence values, then great! There is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex. Pre-mature parenthood is something our culture needs to address because 15-year-olds do NOT have the maturity to raise another child. But don't associate a hymen with a girl's value. A girl is not "dirty" once she has had sex. A girl is not "impure" once she has had a sexual experience. A girl is not a "slut" because she had sex more than once. And a girl hasn't "lost" anything from having sex except for a small layer of skin that really serves no functional purpose. Why can't we say she has "gained" experience and an understanding of her own body? Why can't we say she "got rid" of her hymen and her ignorance about physical relationships?

I'm not suggesting that we tell our kids to go out and have sex. But we love our children no matter what they do, and so we should make sure that no matter what happens, our children never feel that they have lost their worth or honor. Worth and honor refer to a person's character and moral choices. A hymen doesn't have to be one of the criteria.

Post-Halloween Thoughts?

2008-11-01T09:15:00.000-07:00

So what'd you think of the Halloween costumes last night?

I have never understood why girls choose use Halloween as an opportunity to wear mini-mini-skirts, fish net stockings and half-open blouses.. and I want to ask them: Is it not cold where you live?!! I mean, I live in one of the warmest states in the US, but even here, nights in October are still cool. I can't imagine that wearing a few pieces of cloth is really going to keep a person warm.

My biggest problem isn't what teenage girls are wearing, but why they are wearing these revealing costumes. [On a side note-- I refuse to call these costumes "slutty" costumes because "slut" is a twisted word that our society uses in order to put girls who choose to embrace their sexuality down. Generally, guys tend to be the more promiscuous of the two sexes-- so why aren't we calling men "sluts" or "mluts"? Why is it that only girls are put down, insulted and told to be ashamed if they choose to have sex?]

Girls should be able to wear whatever they want for Halloween, but why do they choose the most UNCOMFORTABLE costumes to wear? Is it really comfortable to expose your midriff, chest and legs in 60 degree weather? Obviously, girls dress this way because they want attention from guys. Ok--that's fine if you want to do that. But WHY would you want that sort of attention? These costumes deliberately portray women as sexual objects and that's the only reason men are responding. So why do it? Is attention that important?

As a feminist, I want to make clear that I am NOT a man-hater. I simply have strong dislikes for the men that our culture produces-- the men who only see women as sex toys; the men who don't respect women as equals; the men who think that by virtue of being physically stronger that they are allowed to dominate and dictate women's lives; men who sleep around and yet have the balls to call another girl a "slut." There ARE good men out there who haven't let culture brainwash them, but there are too few.

Mission Impossible

2008-10-30T22:41:00.000-07:00

We all know that that cover photo of Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba has been Photoshopped. Yet, do we really know that?

Our culture has created a standard of beauty that is impossible for any woman to achieve without the aid of Photoshop. We make ourselves feel like shit when we eat an extra piece of chocolate cake. We torment ourselves by thinking that if we would be "beautiful" or "attractive" if we were 10 lbs lighter. We have conditioned ourselves to equate skinniness with beauty and a little bit of fat with unattractiveness. We have allowed men to believe that Angelina's Photoshopped version of beauty is normal and to be expected, and therefore we have done ourselves a huge disservice.

As hard as it is embrace our bodies that aren't stick thin, never forget that "beauty" is a social construct and is defined by our culture. Beauty does not have to be Barbie thin. Beauty does not have to be unattainable perfection. Beauty can be more than the surface of our skin and the shape of our bodies, and it's about time we remind ourselves and our culture of that.

Lists, lists and more lists!

2008-10-28T23:15:00.001-07:00

At Feministing, Samhita writes her list of Top Ten things I absolutely hate about heteronormative dating.

Speaking of lists, when I first created this blog, I started a list of natural rights that I thought all women were entitled -- rights that were not being recognized or respected by our culture and society. You can read the original post here.

Since then, a few people have added to that list and I wanted to post our compiled list here. Keep adding!!!

Women's Rights

I’m a Human – Not Better or Worse than You
How I Look doesn’t Mean that I Want You
If I’m Older – I’m Not Invisible
If I Show Interest in You, Don’t Presume What that Interest is
Don’t Presume that I’m Straight, Available or Interested in You unless I clearly indicate Whatever you May Conclude [From Geo]
I have the right to say no to sex. At any time, for any reason or no reason. Even if I'm wearing something provocative. Even if I've been flirting with you all evening. Even if we've had sex before. Even if you're currently inside me. (A note to men: you have that same right! Ain't it crazy?)
I have a right to pick my friends based on their personality, their intelligence, their sense of humor. Not their gender. I have a right not to encounter jealousy because some of my friends have a penis.
I have a right to have my family's financial matters be our business. Whether I'm the breadwinner, a supporting income, or a stay-at-home mom, I have the right to have my choice respected by both men and women.
I have a right NOT to live up to how some men think a woman should act.
I have a right NOT to live up to how some women think a feminist should act.
I have the right to laugh at a dirty joke - but only if it's actually funny.
I have the right to smile if a male friend slaps my ass. I have the right to scowl and glare if a stranger does the same. I have the right to roll my eyes at anyone who calls this hypocrisy.
I have the right to make decisions based on what's best for me and mine - not to fulfill expectations, and not to prove a point.
I have the right to go for a long walk by myself at my favorite time of day - nighttime. If people point out the danger, I have the right to accept the risk, even if they think it is foolish. I have the right to politely decline their kind offers of accompaniment and protection, and to have my wishes honored.
On a related note: if I promise not to take offense when you offer chivalry, whether I want it or not, you must promise to respect it when your chivalry is refused. I have the right NOT to believe that you know what's best for me, even if you mean well.
I have the right to be stupid and get my ass kicked. If you'd back up a male friend, back me up. If you'd let him get his ass kicked for being a dumbass, then stay out of it. Don't put the burden on me of "picking a fight for you" just because you feel you'd be unmanned if someone laid a hand on "your" woman.
I have the right not to vote for a political candidate simply because she has a vagina.
I have the right to be judged by what I say, how I feel, what I do, what I choose - not by my gender, my appearance, or anything else superficial.
I have the right to live up to stereotypes or defy them, as I see fit. [From Mary]
I should be able to ride the bus without being harassed.
I should be able to walk down a street and not hear any lewd comments.
I have the right to wear whatever I want without worrying about being raped
I have a right to expect to be treated with respect, even if I'm unconscious
I should NOT have to stop listening to my iPod when I'm walking home so that i can be aware of my surroundings "just in case."
I should NOT have to calculate if it would be safer for me to wait for the bus on College/University or Rural/Southern when it's dark outside.
I should NOT have to be walked to my car after a KAET volunteer event when the car is a few feet away. [From your average girl]

Your turn...keep adding to the list!

Continuing the Girl Effect

2008-10-24T23:57:00.001-07:00

As a 19-year-old girl, I find these videos particularly poignant when I compare my life to these girls' lives. Around the world, girls my age and even younger than me are getting married and raising families. Watching these videos give me a combination of gratefulness for all my blessings, guilt because I take these privileges for granted, and pride because these women embody the perseverance, determination and compassion that we are so lacking today as a collective international society.

Addis

Kidan

Sanchita

Shumi

Joe Biden for Women

2008-10-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

McCain thinks a mother's health is a "health" issue

2008-10-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

Right, McCain..because the health of a mother is an "extreme" position to take. Last I checked, the health of every woman is important, regardless of her beliefs or political affiliations. No one is pro-abortion. But those of us who are pro-choice recognize women's right to make choices for their own bodies. If one woman is raped and decides to keep her baby like Sarah Palin says she would, it doesn't meant that ALL women must do the same. As Joe Biden said, we live in a heterogeneous country. I have no idea what it feels like to be a rape victim or to be pregnant from incest and abuse. Therefore, I have NO right to tell women what they can and cannot do with their bodies.

Disney Princesses and Panda Bears

2008-10-17T18:26:00.001-07:00

Rape and pregnancy

2008-10-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

Twix game: "Get" the girl

2008-10-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Not so thrilled about this Twix "game." The goal of this "game" is to help the guy get the girl. In the last scenario, the user has to choose between "be honest" or "keep up the charade," and according to Twix, the "right" answer is to keep up the charade. In order to "win," the guy should basically say whatever it takes to get her into bed. Seriously?!?

The Girl Effect

2008-10-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

"What to Expect When You're Aborting" is back!

2008-10-12T19:19:00.000-07:00

Read "What to Expect When You're Aborting" here

Despite the hate mail, one of my favorite bloggers is back!

Speaking of abortion, let's make one thing clear. Sarah Palin is apparently calling out Obama on his "radical" beliefs (read the article here)

"In times like these with wars and financial crisis, I know that it may be easy to forget even as deep and abiding a concern as the right to life, and it seems that our opponent kind of hopes you will forget that," Palin told a crowd in Johnstown. "He hopes that you won't notice how radical, absolutely radical his idea is on this, and his record is, until it's too late."

Let's see what Barack Obama has to say about women's right to choose:

Barack Obama understands that abortion is a divisive issue, and respects those who disagree with him. However, he has been a consistent champion of reproductive choice and will make preserving women's rights under Roe v. Wade a priority as President. He opposes any constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court's decision in that case.

Doesn't sound very "radical" to me. As Obama once said, we may not agree on the issue of abortion, but we can all agree that we need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Likewise, I can be pro-choice without being an abortion-lover. I think abortion is one of the worst experiences a woman can go through, but sometimes, it IS necessary and it IS the best choice for her at the time. It isn't my right to be the judge of another person's situation and circumstances. We live in such a heterogeneous and diverse country that it's impossible for anyone to know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. Therefore, I believe we can discourage abortion and educate both men and women about safe sex, but we aren't solving any problems by making abortion illegal.

Ending our week with Sarah Haskins!!

2008-10-10T20:29:00.001-07:00

The video says it all! :)

Sexism in Politics

2008-10-10T00:16:00.000-07:00

Poor Hillary

Even though Hillary Clinton has been out of the race for quite some time, the people at Fox still have to take another sexist swipe at her:

If McCain wants to make the "sexism" argument, he needs to start from his own side of the camp first. Not that I like Sarah Palin's views, but I still have to defend her as a woman. Sarah Palin is not a sex object, and the media needs to stop demeaning her and start treating her like the male candidates.

Let's see a picture of McCain's abs, Fox News!!!!

This shampoo makes your boobs bigger!!!!

2008-10-06T17:26:00.001-07:00

It's sad day for desperate advertisers... and just another typical day for our sex-obsessed culture

Does this Pantene ad have any effect, conscious or subconscious, on women's decisions? I really hope not!!! Guaranteed, we're all human and care about our appearance and how others perceive us, but isn't this ad going a bit far?

I mean seriously, it's a shampoo, people. How does a shampoo in anyway give you big breasts? And women are not sexual objects, so I would love it if we didn't use breasts to sell products that have nothing to do with breasts.

More boobs in advertising.. and as usual, advertising products that have absolutely nothing to do with boobs...

Coopers beer and boobs

Cell phone headset and big boobs

Orbit gum and more boobs

And gotta have that perfect camera to get capture her cleavage during the split second she is leaning over!

Any thoughts or reactions?

Anorexia and feminists

2008-10-05T22:44:00.000-07:00

Why anorexia is a feminist issue:

Let's see if we can follow my logic..

Our culture, society and media are all sex-obsessed (Go to the supermarket- there's a "how to lose weight article" in every women's magazine. Go to the movies- 80% of the movies are going to have sex scenes in then. Turn on the TV- you get shows like "Gossip Girls" with teens constantly making out and hooking up)
However, when it comes to sex-obsession, we have a double standard for men and women
We tell girls: be "sexy" (dress like Britney Spears! Don't be a prude!), but then we also tell them that they can't have sex (girls who have sex are "sluts!" Don't lose your "purity"..... whatever that means)
But we tell guys: it's cool to get laid (being a 40-year-old virgin is a big no-no) and not only that, the more girls the better [for more double standards, read Jessica Valenti's book: "He's a Stud, She's a Slut"
Therefore, we see a vast majority of men feeling validated in viewing women as "sexual objects" and analyzing women based on their physical appearances
As a result, young girls use what guys think of them as a measure of how attractive they are
Problem is, "beauty" is damn hard to achieve, especially when you have already-gorgeous women like Angelina Jolie who get Photoshopped and made even more gorgeous in magazines. The bar is set very, very high, and very, very skinny.
As a result, girls begin to associate beauty with skinniness because men find all of our skinny Hollywood actresses to be "hot"
And walla! You've got depression and anorexia because girls everywhere (just check out Yahoo! Answers) think they're "ugly" and "fat"

So what do we do to fix this screwed up double standard for women? How do we teach our girls to love their bodies and love themselves? How do keep our priorities straight-- that personal happiness is more important than what any man ever thinks about our ass? How do we teach them to stand up to societal pressures and to say -- "you know what? I don't care what our society thinks is beautiful because I am beautiful no matter what?"

VPs on Roe vs. Wade

2008-10-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

Joe Biden and Sarah Palin speak to Katie Couric about Roe vs. Wade and abortion...

Note the contrast between the two

Growing up too fast?

2008-09-29T22:28:00.001-07:00

Are our girls growing up too quickly?

You tell me..
Cute or inappropriate?

For reals??

2008-09-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

What do you think?

What message is this Korean sign trying to send?

We all know the importance of cultural messages and the role that these messages play in shaping what is acceptable and appropriate behavior for men and women in our society.

Is anyone else disturbed by this or is it just me?

2008-09-24T18:13:00.001-07:00

To the McCain Campaign:

"By treating Sarah Palin differently from other candidates in this race, you are not showing her the respect she deserves.
Free Sarah Palin.
Free her from the chauvinistic chains you are binding her with.
Sexism in this campaign must come to an end. Sarah Palin has as much a right to be a real candidate in this race as the men do.
So let her act like one." (Read the full article here)

The McCain camp likes to call the media and liberals "sexist" -- but isn't it ironic that McCain is trying to "protect" Sarah Palin by banning the media from her meetings with world leaders? Women are not the weaker sex. We can face the heat and criticism of society on our own, and don't need to be protected by the knight in shining armor.

We want equality in this race. In Hillary's case, she was at a disadvantage the moment she put her pantsuit on. In Palin's case, she has been able to avoid standard criticism and scrutiny because she is "gorgeous." By default, women are not playing on the same field as their male counterpoints, and it's time the double standard was addressed once and for all.

Another step backwards for women

2008-09-22T19:54:00.001-07:00

Immigration authorities believe it is "safe" to deport a Muslim woman under the misconception that genital mutilation can only occur once

"Female genital mutilation is not necessarily a one-time event," Mukasey said. He noted that the board in a previous case had granted asylum in to one woman whose "vaginal opening was sewn shut approximately five times after being opened to allow for sexual intercourse and child birth."

..."This recent action taken by the Board of Immigration Appeals is a step backward for the rights of women worldwide," declared Rep. John Conyers, D-Michigan, in a January letter.

"Female genital mutilation is a gross violation of a woman's human rights and has traditionally been grounds for the granting of an asylum claim," Rep. Zoe Lofgren, D-California, said in the letter.

Female genital mutilation is common in parts of Africa, Asia and in some Arab countries, according to the United Nations. The operation is viewed by some ethnic groups as a means to control a woman's sexuality and is sometimes a prerequisite for marriage or the right to inherit.

Click here to read the whole article

Part I of many on why I'm not voting for McCain

2008-09-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

Umm... hum hum hum..

I realize this video is old, but I think this coupled with Sarah Palin's stand on making abortion illegal (even in cases of incest and rape) is something that women around the world should be worried about.

I realize that birth control does not actually fight a medical condition that is recognized by doctors. However, at the bare minimum John McCain should be able to defend his reasoning for his beliefs. I may not agree with his beliefs, but in this video, McCain doesn't even know what his beliefs are. So much for a confident, competent and sharp-minded presidential candidate.

Is any else worried?

Michelle Obama

2008-09-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

Bull Crap to the "Angry Woman" Question

A line that particularly stuck out:
"We all can tell just by appearances and speeches and the way that Michelle (Obama) has personified herself is that she is not warm and fuzzy...In a way, I would say she is a stealth Hillary Clinton."

To be fair, why isn't he asking if John McCain is an "angry man"?

Video Hero

2008-09-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

Meet Sarah Haskins

Target Women: Cleaning

Target Women: Sarah Palin

Target Women: Chick Flickss

Target Women: Birth Control

Girl power

2008-09-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

A few quotes to tickle your brain...

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~Madonna Ciccone
---
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.
~Gloria Steinem
---
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute.
~Rebecca West, "Mr Chesterton in Hysterics: A Study in Prejudice," The Clarion, 14 Nov 1913, reprinted in The Young Rebecca, 1982
---
Women belong in the house... and the Senate.
~Author Unknown
---
Never let the hand you hold, hold you down.
~Author Unknown
---
Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
~Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

Birth control bonus:
No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother. ~Margaret Sanger
---
A birth control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.
~Author Unknown
---
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
~Woody Allen

Taking the "men" out of women's choice to abort

2008-09-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

I might possibly have 0 readers, but no fear. Even if only one person accidentally stumbles upon this blog, I'll be happy!!

Meanwhile, I wanted to post the link to a blog I've been reading.
I want to preface that being pro-choice does not make me "anti-baby" or "pro-death."
I'm the Women-making-decisions-for-their-own-bodies-and-
not-letting-men-tell-them-what-to-do sort of pro.

Read: "What to expect when you're aborting"

Some pro-choicers aren't liking this girl's blog, but I think she's great. She's witty, and I respect her for her choice. Though pro-life people try to manipulate the situation, abortion is never an "easy" choice.

Help me start a list!

2008-09-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

Please comment and add to this list!

Women's Rights

I should be able to ride the bus without being harassed.
I should be able to walk down a street and not hear any lewd comments.
I have the right to wear whatever I want without worrying about being raped
I have a right to expect to be treated with respect, even if I'm unconscious
I should NOT have to stop listening to my iPod when I'm walking home so that i can be aware of my surroundings "just in case."
I should NOT have to calculate if it would be safer for me to wait for the bus on College/University or Rural/Southern when it's dark outside.
I should NOT have to be walked to my car after a KAET volunteer event when the car is a few feet away.

P.S. I Love You

2008-09-06T00:44:00.000-07:00

From one of my favorite scenes in P.S. I Love You

Denise Hennessey: [Denise is admiring Ted as he walks by] Ooohhh, he's delicious isn't he? I'd serve coffee on that ass.
John McCarthy: Do you have to be so vulgar about men? Like they're pieces of meat?
DH: I'm sorry, John. I forgot you're sensitive about your flat ass.
JM: You know, Denise, that's why you're not married. Women act like men. Then they complain men don't want them.
DH: Oh, is that why? 'Cause I thought it was something different. I thought that it was 'cause I deserved the best and he's out there. He's just with all the wrong women. And let me be clear. After CENTURIES of men looking at my tits in stead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the *DIVINE* right to stare at a man's BACKSIDE with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!
Sharon McCarthy: Well said!
DH: Yeah, well, I thought so.

Treat others as you would want to be treated.
I am not a piece of meat, and that girl on the bus is not a piece of meat.

Why we need this blog

2008-09-06T00:11:00.000-07:00

My motivation
Yesterday as I was riding the city bus, two men decided it would be appropriate to have a 10-minute long conversation about my ass.

It began as a lewd remark, "Nice ass! Especially for an Asian!" but continued when they realized that I was paying no attention to them. Hearing these two men talking about my body in public as if it were a piece of meat that they owned made me feel worthless and shitty. Did I give these two strangers permission to make commentary about my body? And what gave them the notion that they had the right to talk about ME?

I wanted to confront the two men, but there were only four people sitting in the back of the bus. Not knowing how these two men would react if I confronted them, I refused to put myself in possible danger. I may have felt strong on the inside, but my biceps wouldn't stand a chance. Remarkably, another gentleman sitting in the back of the bus began telling these two men to shut up and stop talking about my ass. To be honest, I was surprised (I've never met such a guy) and touched that a man was outspokenly standing up for women. There aren't enough of these gentlemen in the world.

After the two jerks finally got off the bus, I had some time to think (all the while trying to hold back the tears of feeling like some worthless, sexual object). I realized that our culture and the media set women up for this situation, or at least normalize behavior such as lewd remarks and verbal harassment.

It's time for us to look at the world and pick it apart. Culture has conditioned us to believe and act certain ways, but here at Feminist Reaction I hope we can all join together to react against culture's treatment of women.